Message from our Lived Experience consumer

I first encountered the Cup Theory while training to support students on the Autism Spectrum, and it profoundly changed how I understand stress and emotions. 

Imagine your well-being as a cup—everyday challenges, big and small, fill it up. For those of us with complex trauma or emotional regulation struggles, our cups can overflow quickly, making even minor stressors feel overwhelming.

I used to wonder why some days I could handle anything, while others, the smallest thing pushed me over the edge. I realised it wasn’t about the moment itself—it was about how full my cup already was. When my cup overflows, I react more intensely, feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

The key, I’ve learned, is to release the pressure before reaching that point. Small actions—taking a break, practicing mindfulness, or connecting with someone—help create space. It’s different for everyone, and what works one day may not work the next.

Our cups also change size. At times, I’ve had the capacity to handle more, but in difficult periods, my cup felt tiny, filling up instantly. Understanding this has helped me approach myself with more kindness and patience. Managing emotions isn’t about perfection—it’s about awareness and self-compassion. What helps you empty your cup?